Made by Krista Kaufmane,

models – Monta Lū Lapiņa, Jānis Krauja


Autumn is the time when I often walk past many different shapes and sizes of garbage cans. But I should rephrase – autumn is the time when I especially notice these disgusting, yet somehow wonderful creatures. As I usually do not look in, I cannot help but look their way if something vivid, usually with a pattern like no other, looks at ME. Yes, my friends, these creatures keep many dark secrets of mankind, as well as stories. What passers-by do not know is that their thrown-away belongings keep these daily tales of theirs and they do speak, with me, at least. Broken umbrellas, that cry for help, broken umbrellas, that laugh through the pain. Usually, red ones follow me in desperate need of a conversation about companies that have patented them, made them so similar to each other that their tears are exactly the same in color, shape, and sound when they reach the ground. Apparently, items talk with me. Yes, that is what I call autumn when I discover new old, dying umbrellas. They sometimes bore me. At the end of the day, I don’t care.


Yeah, coffee…I prefer white. And quite a lot of music to go with it. That sounds like red leaves and dreary silhouettes. Heavenly combination.


You might be wondering who should help the after all? It depends, I suppose. The girl I will be sharing my very subjective opinion on is no other than the one in Stuart Murdoc’s movie “God Help The Girl”. This particular film I stumbled upon years ago. It was then when I first met adorable Emily Browning, Cassie…no, I meant Hannah Murray (but as in the famous TV series “Skins”, she played the role of a girl named Cassie here as well), and Olly Alexander, the one from Years&Years, at the beginning of their career. This film was what made me fell in love with the cinema. I can still feel the sweet, sweet taste of a strawberry milkshake that resembles me of some scenes in this piece of art Murdoc’s made. I still recall all the words I did not understand back then, all the David Bowie references that meant close to nothing to me, delightful frames of the sixties I only find appealing then for the first time. Invisible substance drew me back. I felt a need to buy candy and dive into the world of these indie kids. This is not a review, by the way. I would call this “a brief introduction to the disarray of wistful memories”. Of course, this IS another movie of endless attempts of following one’s dreams, but its soundtrack adds up to the plot and makes it look like a dreamy meadow of all the most fragrant flowers known. Yet, the plot focuses on a high school drop-out, a girl who struggles with depression and addiction at some point but eventually finds cure in sounds of music. Just like autumn, it is semi-sweet, cozy and gloomy. However, after almost 5 years since first seeing the film, I watched it again recently. What I felt now was pure joy, it did not taste like milkshake anymore, now it tasted like chocolate to me. Semi-sweet. Bitter. I saw the thin line between then and now. It struck me like a lightning bolt. I had grown. Yet all I knew for sure was that the most satisfying thing one can feel is to experience something for the first time.


Here I am, falling into the hands of another slow, marvelous autumn. A season that has physical powers, it persuades to analyze and reminisce, ah, where does he keep his magic tricks…

October 2, 2019


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